sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
