the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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