i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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