I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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