alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
