i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
