1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
