Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
