i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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