i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
