Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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