yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
