Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
