i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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