it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sobbing to NWA
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
