I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
