Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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