woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
