y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i dont even know how to be here
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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