Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
