Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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