Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
