Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
