I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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