how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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