god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
