you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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