McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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