could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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