nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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