just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
