There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
