Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
