Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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