Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
