I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
