I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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