I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
