I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
