She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
