i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
