i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
