He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
