it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
