she looked like the bat from fern gully.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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