my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
