yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This is my gift to your gina
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
