Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
did you just send me my own nude
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
