You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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