i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
