just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
