It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
