We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The feeling are messing with the penis
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
