I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
